the_tom_cat's Blog - page 7

A very TRUE and very sad story:

The Littlest Firefighter

In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26-year-old mother stared
down at her son who was dying of terminal leukemia.
Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also
had a strong feeling of determination. Like any
parent, she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill
all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.
The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted
her son's dreams to come true. She took her son's
hand and asked, "Billy, did you ever think about what
you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever
dream and wish what you would do with your life?"

Mommy, "I always wanted to be a fireman when I
grew up."

Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we can make
your wish come true."

Later that day she went to her local fire department
in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who
had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained
her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible
to give her six-year-old son a ride around the block
on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, "Look, we can do better than that.
If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock
Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary
fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the
fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls,
the whole nine yards! And if you'll give us his sizes,
we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire
hat-not a toy one-with the emblem of the Phoenix
Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear
and rubber boots. They're all manufactured right
here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast."

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy,
dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him
from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and
ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the
truck and help steer it back to the fire station.
He was in heaven. There were three fire calls in
Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all
three calls. He rode in the different fire engines,
the paramedic's van, and even the fire chief's car.
He was also videotaped for the local news program.
Having his dream come true, with all the love and
attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply
touched Billy that he lived three months longer than
any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop
dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in
the hospice concept that no one should die alone,
began to call the family members to the hospital.
Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as
a fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked
if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform
to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his
transition. The chief replied, "We can do better than
that. We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please
do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming
and see the lights flashing, will you announce over
the PA system that there is not a fire? It's just the
fire department coming to see one of its finest
members one more time. And will you open the
window to his room?"

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck
arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up
to Billy's third floor open window. 16 firefighters
climbed up the ladder into Billy's room. With his
mother's permission, they hugged him and held
him and told him how much they loved him.

With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire
chief and said, "Chief, am I really a fireman now?"
"Billy, you are, and the Head Chief, Jesus, is
holding your hand," the chief said. With those words,
Billy smiled and said,
"I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the
angels have been singing." He closed his eyes one
last time.

My instructions were to send this to at least four
people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you.
Please pass this to at least four people you want
to be blessed.

This story is powerful and there is nothing attached,
please do not break this pattern; uplifting stories
are one of the best gifts we receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards, let's continue to
uplift one another.

15 things kids know about the ocean, that you don't

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an as-hole on the top of its head.
(Billy, age

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)

- Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky, age

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat as-s.
(Julie, age 7)

14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.
(Bobby, age 6)

15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)

Top 10 things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too...


And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina...



1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Top 10 things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too...


And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina...



1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Ole and his wife Lena live in Minnesota . One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Lena goes out and moves her car.

A week later, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through."

Lena goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......",

Then the electric power goes out. Lena is very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she says, "Honey, I don' know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"

With the love and understanding in Ole's voice, like all the men who are married to Swedes exhibit, Ole says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willythat will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But the thingis, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with yourwife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before,and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.


'And has she helped you in making the decision?'





'Yes, she has,' says the man.





'And what is it?' asks the doctor.








'We're getting new countertops.'

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies




1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila



Sample the Cuervo to check quality.. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.



Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

Here is a riddle for the true intellectual. Try to come up with the answer on your own. The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think this one through. Here's the riddle:

At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.

The other is getting a blow job from an 85-year-old toothless woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing............. What are they both thinking?
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DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!!!!!!!