dziga's Blog - page 4

Things got kind of crazy this weekend and Monday so haven't had time or opportunity. In the recovery world that I travel some circles in, such things can happen. It is never boring. All is good, nothing unexpected, life rocks on.

Yes, I used the word, "travel" but pictures would not have been pretty. There are some understatements in the Big Book, one of them is: "an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature."

Next time and I'll probably get around to putting some pics for this one up in a day or so...

I've yet seen about recovery...called Smashed. Very respectful to all sides of the story (usually these movies put someone down...either the recovering person or their loved ones) and realistic with depth rather than caricatures of those involved. Good stuff!

for sure. Need to take snaps of what comes up where anyways. Only things that have come up from prior owners so far is some tulips and lily's. Kind of sad...front flower garden has a dividing line between the sides of the duplex. Tulips on the neighbors side look strong. Our side? Kind of pathetic. That will slowly be remedied though. Got some more to plant yesterday...some more dianthus. Kind of forgot how addicting it can become.

Anyways, a little while ago I got my first comment about "older people can be sexy too" so it must be official, a new stage of life. It made me think of this elderly man give a talk in which he recounted someone coming up to him in a receiving line and asking,

"Do you know what the three stages of human life are?"

"Nope. What are they?"

"The first is youth. The second is adult. The third is, "Gee, you're sure looking great.""

Let the new adventures begin!

Finally got to plant some flowers today. Been a long, long winter and a spring that was downright dangerous for plants. Nothing really at the stores until last week.

So...new house, not much planted in the yard...a blank canvas! A few rhododendrons to take me back to Oregon (someday I swear I'll be back there), some woodland phlox, salvia, dianthus (red), a bunch of annuals for flower boxes, holly, lavendar, rosemary, oregano, basil, parsley, sage, thyme...

There really is not much gardening going on in the neighborhood I live in, so it feels good to start setting some flowers about! Appeals to the inner (and outer) hippie in me.

And it is just a start! Hopefully put in a vegetable garden soon...

First time owning a house in 8 years so finally being able to plant what I want where I want...priceless. Such a pure, relaxing, life affirming activity. Such a simple way to get in touch with the simplicity, power and miracle of beauty...and the fact that we can enjoy it. It's an amazing thing. All the life on earth, we are the only ones that can appreciate beauty. We are blessed.

Poor neighbors will soon have to see me flitting about the yard with Grateful Dead music playing. Hope not too many of them have bad flashbacks.

I remember this quote from Stephen Hawkins about how recent man are lucky in that we among the first generations to ever even have an idea about how impressed we should be with life, earth, the universe...basically everything. So easy to take all that stuff for granted. I'm glad it doesn't take as much to impress me as it used to!!!

Yesterday was the first time I really had it enter my head that I get to buy and plant flowers wherever I want to now that we own a house. That makes me really excited...love it!

I think the first thing will be a rhododendron simply as an ode to Oregon. I miss it. My house out there had beautiful camellias (which sadly won't grow in Wisconsin) and, like many in Eugene, gorgeous Rhododendrons. It is going to be a fun weekend planning and planting!

Whew...haven't had much time. I probably would have gone against the intent of the blog challenge if I had time and taken some pics with a Netherlands Soccer shirt that I made. My favorite team is the Green Bay Packers...but if I were asked rather I would rather see the Dutch win the World Cup or the Packers win the Super Bowl, I would probably pick the Dutch. Hup, Holland, Hup!!! Oranje Boven!

Anyways, these are just blog posts of pics I did early this winter (yes, it still seems to be winter in Packer land)

Halftime activities!

Always on tap...you can even suck straight out of the tap if you like...

Cheese Head head?

Collecting ones: You do something that 99 people like and enjoy. They say "great job!" One person comes up and says, "That sucked." At two in the morning (or the next day, week, month, etc), when thinking about the day, the "one" dominates the thoughts.

It's something that I sometimes see on here. Tons of appreciation ruined by one hater that gets taken too personally. Certainly before I underwent a drastic change in my life, I was a champion "one collector." It's a hard way to live. Feeling like one has to do twice the job as everyone else in order to be half as good and then allowing that "one" to tear it all down.

"Allowing" that "one" to tear it all down. I used the word "allow" because it was only myself giving that one enough power to define a whole experience for me. In the end, I would say that it was all fueled by an internal insecurity that drove me to setting insane expectations for myself combined with very unhealthy reliance upon outside sources for personal validation because I couldn't validate myself.

It is very ironic, but I've seen it in a lot of others as well...this internal insecurity somehow leading to expectations ridiculously nearing perfection. Insecure about oneself but expecting oneself to be nearly perfect? No wonder that insecurity exists!!!

So "Rule 62." Don't take yourself so damn seriously. I am just one of many. I am in the exact same category as everyone else, a fellow traveler going through this journey of life for the first time with no precise guidebook telling me what to do so I have to learn through experience...which includes mistakes, embarrassing moments, displays of pure idiocy, etc. Perhaps one of the most helpful things I learned to do was to place myself in another's shoes. If a friend of mine did the exact same thing, would I think that it really said something about who they are as a human being? Of course not. I would see it as a mistake and love them just as much. Why not apply that principle to oneself?

I once heard a guy describe his internal feeling prior to learning not to take himself so damn seriously as feeling like at any moment someone was going to jump out of a dark corridor and make him take a test that he wouldn't be prepared for. Kind of the nail on the head there. And the punishment for not doing well on the test? Who knows, but obviously very severe as he would have just proved that he didn't belong in this world by failing. But...no one ever gave that test, no one ever gave a description of what happened when he failed. He was the only one giving himself those tests and setting the consequences.

Don't take yourself so damn seriously. There is no reason why you should be the only one on Earth who has to take an endless series of tests to prove your worth!

Just me with some of my shirts on and musical instruments. Yes, this stuff is in the house and worn often. I am not pretending to be a hippie here!

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And, of course, Flower Power!!!

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http://bitly.com/bundles/rockhard6isback/4

Here are the participants so far:
bighoss2, guitartxn, Whispermyname, Safire13, Northern Star, sidders73, ibhunting, dziga, amancalledpony, BBWBrook, Firedancer69, jayapplepie, arabella_topaz, VTCali, lennyknatural, rockhard6isback, RoxanneS, sugasweety1, dewberry, LakeFX, private parts, jenjen1018, MissOwl and me; tight_wet_lips

Really started when I heard this older guy who I respect greatly talk about going into his bank and his teller asked him, "Why are you always so happy?" His response was, "I guess I learned to lower my expectations."

How to wrest satisfaction and happiness from this life by managing well? That seems to be the question many of us approach finding happiness. Well, at least the not so well adjusted among us.

A false lead. What is needed for satisfaction and happiness always seems to increase the closer we get to it. Somehow, the goals for satisfaction and happiness seems to become relative rather than objective, usually based upon "I need a little bit more than I think I need" and the more one gets, the more one thinks they need. An ever increasing spiral. I've seen the exact same thing in rich people as in poor people. Seen the exact same thing with guys who have great jobs and poor jobs. Seen the exact same thing with guys who are constantly with women and guys who are never with women.

Enjoyment of what is instead of dreams about what isn't leads to happiness. Truly, anyone sitting in front of a computer reading this is spoiled silly judging from the current state of the majority of people in the world and the historical "wealth" of humanity. Yet so much time, trust me, I am very much guilty of this despite my philosophical goal, is spent looking at what could be.

I think one of the reasons that major life moments are so powerful for us is because it brings us squarely back to what is, to the present, enabling us to see how beautiful and powerful the simple things we have in life are.

Lowering expectations allows me to celebrate what my mind usually considers to be flawed things around me and enjoy them instead of wishing they were something else. Leads to lots of peace!