Dignitea's Blog - page 15

I have another hospital visit, on Thursday, i have to go and get an ECG recording device fitted, to check out, how my heart is working, been waiting 7 months for this, so I wear it for 3 days, go about my normal day and see, the result

I can see, the change of time, again, one more week and I will cycle home in the daylight again, week of colder weather again ahead, but just means add a layer or two.

I was feeling sorry for myself the other day. The feeling of being so lonely returned, thoughts that just play in your head and make it worse. Life can feel very unfair at times, that is for sure.

I have not even comfort bought anything, that is my usual way of dealing with it, been 3 weeks since an Amazon delivery and no other deliveries too. but when, I am in a saving mode, I really am a tight with my spending, when , I have an end goal, i appreciate it all the more, for saving for it.

I have forgotten how, too be visible.

Time to decide on what social media platform is next too go, comes down too 3 too choose from Instagram, Twitter and NN. Going to go with Instagram this time, in a few months, will do a cut again. It is like when trying to give anything up, gradually weaning.

I have been writing in my journal not, every day, but then again sometimes, up to 6 times in a day, got asked, at work what, I was doing, it goes, everywhere with me, well nearlt everywhere, I even have written it, in the the middle of the night, the insomnia was bad, all I wrote, was WHY.


The first image, I took this year, never shared, this view with anyone else, I have spoken of it, the one great issue , is the powerlines, but I can remove them. But the sky did get better and better that night the clouds popped and did I smile, after packing up, heading home, the usual thing done, I give thanks too Mother Nature.

When I was young, they called me Moucher, got reminded of that name before Christmas, when, I got asked if, I knew, where , there was holly with berries on it, I duly delivered the holly, with berries. Her Dad was one of the people who called me that, he said, too ask Moucher, he would know, if there is any about the village. He is house bound now, a once strong , hard living man.

People like me, are a dying breed, but it is, the case with so many things in life, like the dinosaurs one, day we will be extinct.

Me, will continue too fight till, the lights go finally out.


One of the reserved pictures, called it getting closer, I think it was around a 13 second exposure, clouds moving, to get the movement.

The morning was cold, the grass was covered in frost, but in moments like that, i go , into my really happy place, you look at the back of the camera and you see, maybe, just maybe, you got it, this morning..

Hope you all, have a great week, is life really like, trying to herd cats at times, sure is.

Been a very long times, since I shot the moon, I took this, just a little but after sunset, was out shooting the sunset over, some trees, it is a new scene, one, that I have looked at for years, but till a few weeks ago, never took a picture, but I am going to visit it, a lot, it has one fault, power cables, but I can take them out in photoshop.

Only a short walk from home, crazy how, you what, you can find, when you really look, now, I can shoot, them from the other side in the mornings, might try it, next time, the mornings, look ok, just never know.

First night, out and as soon, as the drama, started, I was out of there, could sense it from soon, after, I walked in. So we walked from one farm , back too K's. I did see the bells in, but, my days for being up so late, might be over. But no late night walking back home, spare bed had been made for me, then woke up sharing it with the dog lol

I know one thing, for sure, I will not even think of trying to blog everyday, not sure, how I was able to do that before, recently had the same feeling about posting on Facebook, it lost the fun. so. really going to try and not post for a year, I admit, that was my plan for here as well, but I blog for me, it clears the head, it can process things for me, was how it was in the start.

Life is sometimes a win, sometimes a loss, sometimes a draw. each day I try for one positive thing, mines today was, that I was able to crawl below the staging in the greenhouse and get back out without any more, pain that I went in with, so the win was, means, that in the summer, I should be able to get down on the ground and take pictures, with the camera..

One last thing the Jaffa Cake dessert, I had was lovely.


Now, if I had noticed the rope hanging from the tree, I would have had to have had a swing on it,

In my day, there was no such thing, as being grounded, you got kept in, now, that was the worst punishment for me, I just wanted to be in the outdoors, I use to sit, head on window sill, just staring out the window and eventually freedom came.

Even then, I never cared about the weather, so many times, I got soaked, too the point, where, I took my wellingtons off and had to empty the water from them, I now have as good a gear, as you can get out, my 3 Paramo Jackets, that I wear, are like a massive security blanket, never let me down yet, I have Paramo trousers as well, same these for monsoon days..

I have came a long way in life, sitting over a cup of tea today, turned down, a slice off cake, so, that tonight, I can have it, I could have had half then, then half later, but never done, that yet.

I visited the cemetery today, She asked, if I would go with her, we both ended up shedding a tear, we stood in silence, I miss, her mum and dad, good people, I was telling her, about the day they turned up, at the farm, I was cleaning out the calf shed, Tam shouted me and introduced me, I went back to work, he came to me and said, she wants the place all tidy, think it took, us 6 months, till we got her final approval, each part cleared, was checked, If Ann, was not happy it got re done, place was always tidy after that, but she worked the place as well, she could graft, one year, when Tam had broken ribs, we had to bring the bales in and get them stacked, eventually she collapsed exhausted and eventually, when I got the last bale in , as the rain started, I just lay on them and slept, K woke me, in the morning, too , tell my my breakfast was ready, when I think back to, the stacked plate, no way, would I eat it now.

He did ask me once, If i wanted a full time job, but as much, as I liked helping him, there really was not enough work for that, but I thanked him for the offer. It was never about money, he was one of my mentors, you canny, put a price on that.

So day 7 and done..


Like this picture, sometimes, it just doesn't work..

All the very best in 2023 everyone..

I slept well last night, woke twice and fell back to sleep after the first time, second time was after 5am, so I was not bothered about staying awake then, plus the weather outside was telling me, to just snuggle up in bed, which I did to around 7-30am.

The amount of rain last night and for a a large part , was biblical at times.

So this one and then another tomorrow, my blogs for Christmas complete, it looks like, I will at least complete, that one, what after that, well, I made my mind up. over the last few days, that is for sure.

I am looking forward not back, but I do miss, writing about, the old days, they are part of my story, it was part of leading to where I am now, the good the bad and all the other bits.

I have an empty Journal, just waiting to get written in, it fits in my pocket, will carry with me and just write, will pass 5 minutes at lunchtimes at work, but there is just time, I want to write, I did try using the iphone, but pen and paper, is like me, old school.

I am 58 in 6 weeks, I am at a stage, where learning to pace myself, means, that I can still do, most of what, I want, but learning, that there is limits, how I wish my left arm worked better, . One funny thing is, my eye sight seems to have improved, I can read without my glasses just now, but when I go too, the specialist on 4rd February, will find out better.

Today, i took over 50 pictures, culled them too 30, to import and then culled them again, so 2 new pictures, this evening..


I was playing about in, a small stream, when I came across tjhese Male flowers on an Alder tree, hard to get a picture, in 20mph winds, I have never noticed them before at this time of year.


My favourite tree, Have no clue what makes this my favourite single tree, too take a picture off, I did climb into the field on the other side, never shot it from there, but my ears were sore, with the cold and headed home..

For the first time in a very long while, I will be out to see the bells in, end of one year, start of a new year.

Ever thankful I am, that is for sure. I decided today, to stop posting on the Facebook groups, I had been posting on, for the next year, will be the same with a few other places. I like to have engagement , to talk, to help and I like to learn.

I am going to find a new project , maybe will be, for 2 years time, no need to rush into anything, that is for sure

I gave myself 4 days of rest this week , apart from walking, not done anything else, for someone, that always thought he needed to be active, I have done well.

Tomorrow, I have a full day of things planned, Saturday and Sunday too, then take it easy monday , Tuesday and then back to work for two.

I do have a fun side..


It was said, to me, that i would not post one of my selfies, I took, guess they were wrong ..

I walked for over, 4hrs in the rain, put the wets, to a real test, 2 slips, the place, is just so muddy, but one thing it, does give you, is an emptiness to think, I have lot to get sorted out before Sunday.


My only picture from the day, rain was close to stopping, 3 clicks and that was it, just the way it goes.

Last night, I saw, the first picture, that, I had taken for someone, it was actually a sheep, K's dad, Tam, had, bred the best ram, he ever had, it won a few shows, it was an impressive animal, he asked if, I could take a picture, he hung it in the office, thought he had finally cracked it, but it was firing blanks.

She had got it, put in a better frame, I hung it , in the kitchen for her, last night, it is beside a picture of Jill, her collie, now, that little dog is not so small now, it is the cleanest collie ever, but like she said, it ain't a farm anymore.

I only went out for a cup of tea and a bit of homemade cake, plus it was good to see, she was looking better than a few days before and we sat for hour's just talking, put the world to rights, talked a lot of shite and she took the piss out of me.

Around 4am, I walked home, the snow,. we had earlier, had melted and had froze over, very slippy in bits, but by 8am it was rain, rest of the day the same, it mean't no new picture, today, once it would have annoyed me, failure, I did think of the selfie, but who wants to see that lol.

Yesterday, I did actually get a couple, plus, I do have quite a few that I have saved from the last few weeks, I am waiting to see, what it, is like early tomorrow morning, I am really needing too, get a coastal fix.


I am lucky, my garden, has things, that can give me a picture. This is a de saturated picture, too, the point it might look like, a black and white. In the end, I got one of my favourite pictures of the year.

It does not seem like a year, since last Boxing Day, weather this morning has been truly shocking, rain driving so hard, that even, I will not venture out, in it. I will at some point in the day, not sure, what I will photograph for my next daily blog picture, might have to resort to just doing a selfie, I did have a selfie as my profile picture for years on here, It was taken in my old work, I was sat on a job, I had been working on, can even still remember that it was £100,000 in value. funny how the small things stick with us.

I walked twice yesterday, 2 sets of waterproofs, got wet, I do still have one more set, but all is dry now. I did get a Christmas Day picture, but at the end, you will see, it's a nice scene, but not in those conditions. I had it in mist once, now, that was nice, it even made one of the best pictures of the day posted on FLickr. Now, I want it in snow,

I did get message from K yesterday, said I made her feel so much better and she had read my blog, Asked why calling her K, did I have a thing for someone called K,,well if she reads this, she will know,, well thing is, we all have words, that we might not know, we say a lot, mines, gave me a user name on here, but well In her case, she says, OK a lot, so she got K.

I saw the other day, someone going on about PM not getting answered, I have a fairly simple approach on this, it is a bit like my blogs, but i send a PM,never expecting a reply, mines are usually just a thank you for leaving a comment on my blog, they are never rude, I have sent pictures, but they are ones, I have taken on my adventures, that might be off interest. If they are not at there best, just a simple, hope you feel better.

This place is big enough for us all, we all find our own little niches.

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Yesterday Best, I could do, 5 minutes before, I sheltered below a tree, then walked a few feet when t stopped and took this. Today's picture for tomorrow , got a felling it's going to be black and white.. The picture I posted yesterday, really needs to be seen at full size, it gets lost in the reduced format here.