Dignitea's Blog - page 17

Few words today.

Yesterday morning, was an other milestone, taken a few days short from 5 months since the stroke, but, I was out taking pictures at sunrise, deciding to do, this has been more mental, than physical to a degree, but my mindset was, I CAN do, this, I Will, carry my camera bag, final step, was I DID, It, was as big a moment of any, that, I have taken, I even managed to get 3 pictures, how such small words, can be so powerful, simple words to live for, I CAN and I WILL.

I had been having a few bad days before, that, down days, as I call them, was really just a stupid thing really, was, just one of those times, where, I was wishing, that I had someone,to share my day with, just to talk for a short time, but it passes, back to being lonely and not bothering about it.

I managed my longer days at work, I am only one hour short of full hours, but not bothered about that, I am only on 4 days, been told, that if, I need to cut them back, at anytime, to just do so.

My just playing with Metal, as I call it, is being cut back, been asked, if I will be a Trainer and do more in the Health and Safety side, once upon a time, the thought of spending time, in an office, I would have laughed at, but now, maybe, I am more, in a place, where I see it, as giving back.

I am, on holiday, again, was a case of use them or lose them. I have a thought of, when I hit 60, I will actually go, on holiday, that short while, when I use to go over the border, was the only time, since my twenties, that I actually, could say, it was a holiday,, but now the thought of saving up and going somewhere or more likely do something is quite strong. I canny really see myself, just lying by a pool or, by the sea, but, if I had someone, with me, would happily do so.

Well, haircut time, been cutting my own, since we were in lockdown, simple Number 2 all over, for all my left arm, does not work the same now, it was another of those, I CAN and I WILL moments..


Autumn has given, some lovely colours, this year, phone picture, from Friday, went with the camera,yesterday and the light was not the same,seize the moment, when you can.

10am, on a Sunday morning and been so productive already, I rose around 6am, had the first dose of tablets, then it, is wait 30mins, till, I take the second lot and eat something, One other thing, that has changed since the Stroke, can not just get up, pull on my clothes and go for a walk, I either have to eatsomething, or like I usually do, take my flask and porridge with me.

Looking out around 7am and it is dry, have to take advantage of dry times, so a short walk around the woods, never saw much, which is unusual, I stood and looked for the deer , but none.

Home about 90mins, after leaving, kettle on, and washed the last of the flower pots, I had to do.

I have a little project to make, will start that, it is just to house my growlight. Might get it finished today, be nice to, but, I go at my bodies pace.

I will walk again, before dinner, if dry, to get a picture or two, time, to start trying to carry the camera bag now, with a few lenses in it and also, the large tripod and ballhead ..

10-12am now and blogged as well,, have a great Sunday everyone..


Last of the pictures, I had sitting for the blogs, time now, too focus on some new projects,, my biggest project just now, is me lol..

My best week at work yet, since having my stroke, that is a few good weeks in a row, so next step time, 4 days from Monday, but will just see, how it goes. having been off, for a month before, my Stroke, looking after my Mum, it is 6 months since, I have worked a Monday, Friday's no matter what, are a thing of the past.

I had a fellow worker come to me and say, so you are the one, that listens and listen I did, word does, seem to get around, but it is good, that I am there for these times for people.

I have 3 days of holidays left and not long to take, will work a Monday and have the rest of the week off, I need an adventure..

I have been able to do Quordle now, my concentration level is so much better, was kind of frustrating not being able to get them, but one day, it just clicked, small thing, but large gain.


Part of my walk, that I do most days, getting the habit back of, coming in from work, have a cup of tea and then get suitable gear on for the conditions and go,

Eve, is gone another year, so many now, far to many, so young, she was, but too this day, she left her mark on me. She was the one, that made me promise, to live life, for all, those who never got the chance, to never give up, keep fighting.

She was the first person, to save my life, when Julie and i lost the baby, Eve was there for both of us, but it was me, when, |I really was at my lowest,, she took me, the top of Ben Nevis, sat me down held me and I cried, then just a little over a year, later she was gone, as well, my emptiness lasted for a very long time, till a PM, where is that castle.

I could sit and write for days about her, we had a lot of adventures, she taught me so much, about life, lessons, that | still keep too, She was a Lesbian, except for one night, but in the morning when we woke, she said, if it does not feel right with you, it never will be,, it did it change things between us, it never did, we loved each other, we meant to much to each other plus,, as she said, who else would carry all, her photography gear up a mountain, in a the middle of winter lol.

She had more talent with the camera, in her little finger, than I will ever have,, I never really got photography back then,, I do now, especially when, I just can not get out, with the large camera much, I think mobile phones, were actually invented for me, for this time and place.

Maybe before Christmas Iphone 14 Pro, will find its way to me, to be carried on my mini adventures now, too capture those moments..


I can not lie down on the ground now, the mobility in my left side, makes it painful, but take the phone out, kneel down and put the phone, too the ground and hey presto, I got a picture, of the fallen leaves, that makes me smile,

Always learn to adapt, no matter what, just keep trying..

I was out, walking around 5am, fully waterproofed, for it was throwing it down, my woodland paths, are so slippy, The worst bits and one bit, where, I just across a slope, with the river below, I now use a head lamp, for all i have walked them, what will probably be thousands of times, after stroke, I never take chances, so I light my way on, these sections now, when it is dark.

I had wanted to get to a spot, where, I can sit below a large chestnut tree, that gives me views across, the valley below and watch for any wildlife, but it was just to be a morning, where, I sat and have my porridge and tea and biscuit, thinking how lucky in life I am.

In the end, I sheltered there for close to 1hr, Audible book on Chris Carter's new book, first time I never bought the book to read, but it's enjoyable enough.

My Mum always ask's if I saw anyone, when I get back. strangely not a soul this morning.

Now, as i write this, it is a rather nice Autumn day, clear blue skies and a wind blowing, waiting for, a delivery, get my building project started and I know, it will take longer, than it once did, but life has taught me, what is the hurry, enjoy the process.


Mother Nature, paints the best scenes.

I am so glad, of having my phone for taking pictures, it keeps me, in the game, hopefully, new phone soon and really looking forward, to the new tech, that is in them, my phone is 5yr old, tech changes, so quick..

Before, I had posted the picture, had written a lot more words, but it was one of those, those times, when words, for , just for me..

But rather, than post another picture, will add too this one.

I actually slept for just over 6 hours the other night, for me, that is pretty amazing. really does, make you feel fresh.

Working on a project in one,of the greenhouses, I Have 3, more than just being here, they have been the best tonic, when having a bad day after the Stroke, which, there is many bad days ahead still, you accept this and work around them.

I walked yesterday for, just over 5 miles, little sore this morning, but working on the stamina is , what it, is about, finding that happy medium again.

Visit to the Nurse went very well, that is me, for another 3 months.

My uncle, is missed all the time, by me, He always had a denim engineers cap on, when he was in the garden, guess, what I saw on Amazon the other day, put it on my wish list, now questions, is , do I buy it ?

Four months from the Stroke now and life progresses slowly. The outside of me is fantastic , the inside me, we, well, that's another story, it's hard going , that is for sure and trying to keep remember that , it is still a short time really. Still working 3 days, keep saying, I am going back to 4, I think it just a goal for now, but when I do, I will start at 7am, 6am starts are hard, I accept that, I am never going to be back to full working hours, I am realistic in that.

It is all about staying positive and celebrating all the small wins and keeping remembering that I was fortunate and really lucky.

I sold the last bit of property , I kept the £2,000 that was my gambling pot, that led me to buying the house and not a penny more, like the rest, good causes will benefit, I have no one, too, leave anything too, so better to get it, all sorted now, , someone, once asked me, where my millions, will go, if they only really knew. I might just put my little bit towards an electric bike.

I walked my woods, on Friday, sat in a favourite spot and watched the world go by.


I took , this the other week, went to take it again on Friday, but had left my phone at home, the time of year, when we change from greens to golden browns and all those other wonderful colours..

I was very ill yesterday for about 50mins, then it just got better , very strange, I thought I was heading for my third trip too, the hospital in the last few months, but thankfully, when the Doctor, came in and checked on me, he was happy for my too, stay at home. I was scared.
This morning, it is like nothing , had even happened.




This picture, from that first morning, off, shooting sunrises, was more important to, me that, I actually thought at the time, it is hard to believe, how quick it actually happens, for all I had walked for decades before this and had been out, when the sun rose, this was the first time, I had, actually just stood there and watch it develop in front of me, since then, I have watched it happen many times, with some luck, will see a few more, over the next few months as well.

I walk this way, 3 or 4 times, a week, sometimes, everyday, this is the time of year, I always stop and look, it draws me, like a moth to a light, not really sure why, but it is, one of my favourite views, simplest of things.

I took, this with my phone, it is over 4yr old now and it was not, even the most recent model , when i got it, threatened too up grade a few times.