Well am not one for writing long blogs but I felt I wanted to write this as it helps me to get over something that happened to me this week
It all started 18 months ago. I met someone in a chatroom(not NN) just by chance and to cut it short we started chatting. I was flattered cos she was 18 years younger than me (am no spring chicken but am still young in mind). In fact she approached me.
She was in a bad place her husband wasnt very nice and she was lookingto get away from him which she did 6 months later. she asked for my mobile number so we could chat on a one to one basis. for the past 18 months we text everyday and in the evenings. we got on well. She sent me pics and I did the same. Our chat was general everyday stuff and then she progressed into naughty stuff as well as phoning me when she played with herself. I amay add am working when this happened. Am a driver so I use a headset.
Things progressed we chatted loads she had problems and I was there for her and likewise for me. As time progressed we both started to have feelings towards each other. we live miles apart so it wasnt feasible for any further progressin the relationship but we both enjoyed what we had. I looked forwrd to her texts or calls everyday. I helped her cos she was having a tough time after she left her husband.
I was lucky enough to eventually meet up with her albeit for a short time only an hour but it was the best hour of my life. No we didnt have sex we just met for a coffee and I had a lovely hug and kiss with her. God I wanted more but I was on a deadline and had to be somewhere else later that day.
About 3 months ago I got a text saying her neice was trying to set her up with a guy she had met at a family gathering a couple of years ago. She laughed it off but then within 48 hours she had spoken to this guy who having found out she was single told her he had always fancied her and he wanted to move to her area to start a business. But my friend was cautious and agreed he could stay for a couple of weeks at her place til he found a place for himself.
Anyway he stalled on moving but sent her an amount of money to cover his keep. She still wasnt sure he was coming but the money was useful as she was surviving on benefits. Meanwhile we are still texting, loving texts etc as we had always done. 6 week ago he arrived on her doorstep and from the moment he arrived she changed. Texts are like body language you can tell when theres something different by the replies etc.
She has always said she loved me etc and I felt the same but because of circumstance couldnt do anything more about it at this time.Bear in mind this guy has told her he fancied her she wasnt sure or so she told me.
This week the inevitable happened she decided to make a go of it. He knows she chats to me and is OK about it.You can imagine how I feel when she tells me she loves me but only likes him but feels she needs that security in her life. I dont know this guy so I cant judge him.
As you can imagine am now gutted. Ive lost something very special in my life and feel very hurt and down.
some of you might say its my own fault and I shouldve done something more to ensure she was mine but I couldnt cos of my personal circumstancesat present.
We all experience hurt in our lives and believe me am very down right now. Time will heal, however, she still wants to chat she still says she loves me and that makes it harder for me. I dont want to give her up and yet dont think I should carry on texting etc. Am the one thats hurting and believe me its been a tough few days.
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