here are some thoughts and phrases that have popped into my head concerning my ex-fiance. some are clips and phrases from songs that seem to fit how i feel, others are straight from my heart. the ones that are regarding getting back with him are my oldest thoughts. i realize now that i am better off without him. if he hit once, i'm sure he would do it again no matter what he says. all of these are written in permanent marker on an old pair of jeans that i happened to wear today and decided to write them and post them publicly. enjoy (or dont -- they are my thoughts)!! ps - his nickname for me was angel
--what did i do wrong? why did this happen? do i deserve this? --good things in life are hard to find. --i am your angel. you gave me my wings. you also took them away from me. --fate brought us together. fate and irony tore us apart. --this love is killing me, but you're the only one. it's not over. --fate can be cruel!! --if we are meant to be, someday we will figure out exactly what we are meant to be. --if we are true soulmates, then we will be brought back together when the time is right. --i never saw it coming. should've started running a long, long time ago. i never thought i'd doubt you, i'm better off without you. i got over you. --the day you turned on me is the day i died. you were meant for me and i was meant for you. --can we make this something good? cuz its all misunderstood. --when you slammed the front door shut, alot of others opened up. so did my eyes, so i could see. that you never were the best for me. --slowly getting closure, guess its really over. --you said you never would be gone. --shadows fill my empty heart cuz love is fading. --picking up the pieces and putting my heart back together. --you will forever hold a huge piece of my heart --angel --i will smile again. someday. --i cant believe you were the one to build me up, and tear me down, like an old abandoned house. i guess i let you get the best of me. --my life with you means everything, so i wont give up that easily. --i'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again. --i keep your memories in my heart. --you said forever. who knew? --i will wait for you. even if it takes forever. true love is worth the wait. --chris, you broke my heart. fix it. --one lonely tear. this is all will cry from now on. --my peace to you i give. i can no longer be angry at you. --what if our love never went away? what if its lost behind words we could never find?
one last thought. in a few minutes, it will officially be 9-22-07. the day i was supposed to get married on. how can i get thru this day? this was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. i was gonna marry the man of my dreams. my soulmate. my best friend. how does someone survive without bawling or hiding in bed all day? i dont know if i can get thru today. how can i? he took my happiness away and i was just getting back on my feet and living life again. and now i have to make it thru the day. how can a man hit a woman he loves? how and why do they do that? and why do i sometimes still love him with all my heart and wish he were back home with me. am i that stupid? am i that nieve? how can i love him and hate him at the same time? |