Dignitea's Blog - page 10

I am planting more and more things in the garden , so I can get my photography fix, when time is short.


I shared a close up of this flower on status, little bit wider few with the added bonus of a Bee landing on it, while dinner is cooking, just getting 10 minutes out here, is enough for me. You can see how the colours just attract things,

Only a few more weeks, till next holiday and I need it, will probably have a day of during this week as well, My body speaks and I listen, was like on Friday morning had ideas of heading up the hills for my fix of dragons and damsels, but I was realistic in knowing, I would have struggled.

But I got out last night, done around 6 miles, harvest time is here, picture at end of blog.

My walk, was one that is a once in a blue moon one, but I had my photographic ideas head on, so was looking for new ideas and yes, got some. I checked to see, if the Fungi is showing , but only a few decaying ones, but will wander there again, tomorrow morning all being good, I might wander to a little spot, that it might be over 40yrs since, I walked in this little strip of wood, but my photo head is firmly on again and so I search, I chase and I seek.

It changes for me around August, tend to look more towards the landscape.

When I walk , sometimes, a podcast on, but mostly I like to have my thoughts. I have thought a lot this week, how one message on here, made a bad day good, more that they might ever know.

Tried to order a new bike, but it is the time of year of new designs coming out, so they were not taking orders, in no great hurry,

I found trainer socks, that till now, have not slipped down, so ordered another 2 pair, sock are a weakness for me, it once was T shirts, but not as much now, nice underwear as well, but now mostly wear Under Armour ones, worked a treat, when my work has been hot, no signs of sweat rashes , I use to always have to rub Vaseline on, but not since changing. I do have a few sets of bamboo ones as well.

I gave a lot of clothes to a lady in the village, who was collecting them. so much money spent on them, but even better knowing someone is going to get the use of them now.

If you have gotten as far as this, many thanks. it means a lot..


I spent a while among these newly harvested bales of barley, trying to find a picture, farmers never think of us photographers, when they lay them out, but sometimes it is not about the picture, last night, I ended up walking home in the rain from here, but I was in my happy place..

I had worked most of the day around the garden, watched the Tour De France, which has been an absolute classic, winds had been there all day, rain showers and only around 16C normal Ayrshire summer day really.

Forecast had said, winds to drop from around 6pm and so, thought get out and try for some pictures.

I decided on taking my trusty steed.

I use this bike, most days, I have travelled to work on her for going on 7 years and have not missed a day in over 4yrs, the weather never bothers me, I kind of like some of the nasty days we get, it is all about being geared up for it, Last winter it dropped to -10 one morning, but I have spikey tyres on and they work a treat, but do not think for one minute, I throw safety to the wind, I never do, not that stupid.
Off track again.

The place where I was at was an old coal mine, my papa worked there in the 30's but it is all gone now, the pit bing was there, when I was younger, but they flattened it out and it has been pretty much left.

Over the years it has become a little wildlife haven and I spend a bit of time there, It has given me a few decent pictures over the year and with the tree's now getting bigger , I know will try and get more of my landscape pictures, the heather is taking over in areas and I am hopeful ..

But it has changed, it was my go too, place for orchids, was hundreds, there once, now not so many and it seems less each year, just the way, but seen two new species of butterflies, there this year, one, I got a picture of and like last night, might have a new nemesis of the butterfly world, but to be honest, getting things easy are no fun and I have great patience, one day maybe one day.

Like so many times before, come around 7pm, the wind dies, the clouds part and the sun gets through, then like magic, where I had stood for 45 minutes or so, I had seen one butterfly, one becomes two and soon, there is quite a few, I feel the smile on my face as I watch, so many are tired looking or battered soldiers, I call them , but it is just age, they live for so short a time and have to do so much, maybe we can learn from them.

I headed home, about 90 minutes later, not really caring about if, I had a picture of anything or not, more and more, it does not matter to me, each time I get out, I learn, I note things down and just feel so blessed, that I am truly able to to still be able to get most things done..


My best pictures of the night, was of this plant Self Heal, it really is all about light, the sun found a little window in the canopy and hit upon this little bit of ground, meant me lying in a puddle, nothing new there.

Even before, I wrote my last blog, I knew, there would not be any comment's on it. I knew, by what I wrote but have always seen the words I write are more for me and that the pictures make up for my words, for those that just like to see a picture and have no great interest in the words, I wonder if people just find it hard to comment on the pictures, when the words are what they are. But I see them as two separate things, I could have just written two blogs.

I have recently started posting more pictures elsewhere again, I know it will not continue, might just be a summer thing, for I think most of the pictures have been taken with my new Macro lens, it has been the best thing I have bought in a long time.

Best day to day comment made to me this week.

You never will have anyone, for you are just not interesting enough, my cousin , she really does need to change the record, variants of this same comment she has made for decades lol.

The other, You not fancy spending your millions on me. my reply was If I had not given them all away, I might have. She has always been with men with money, people called her so many things over the years for it, but we have always gotten on and she is a fun person. I did have one night of fun with her, must have been when I was around 20, she told me, she would wear me out, but she never did, I orgasmed her out , might have been a long term thing, but I found out, that she had a boyfriend. Our paths have crossed the odd time over the years, her greeting use to always be, how was her bit of rough.

We both came from nothing and both have gotten to where we are in life in different ways.

People judge without knowing, I let people see, what they want to think they see.

Julie once said, I was like the biggest onion in the world, you just kept peeling back the layers and finding out more interesting things, Now that one is very true.







All taken in the garden, I am in the process of getting it , to where I am happy with it, next year, greenhouses will be filled with tomatoes and some peppers, will have strawberries in pots, so can have those early berries, there is nothing finer, that first berry of the year and back to having more homegrown vegetables, my bedding display is going to be very special as well, for an interesting man, I sure do a lot of interesting things,

The routine is the same each year, a week or so before, I buy the birthday card, take my time to pick the right one, from the very first one, that said Happy First birthday , all through the number years, I called, Happy 13th now your a teen,, Happy 18th,, Happy 21st, Friday's Happy Birthday My Beautiful Daughter, then near the end of the week it will get posted. the address the same as always,, My Angel in Heaven . As I get closer to the end of my day's , I really hope there is somewhere we go, that when I make my journey she is waiting there for the first time and I see her running towards me shouting Hello Dad and throws her arms around me.

Now why do I do Photography, well when at those times of the year that are hard, when you are focused on the scene, for those seconds or how long it is, there is no other thoughts in your head,, It is why I have never really done any paid work for my dread is, that I will fall out of love for the camera and what will I have then, I will have lost my coping mechanism. It is even more important to me, for I lead a pretty lonely life, I have no one to talk too and I am not looking for someone, to have a moan with , I am not like that , But I accept that fact that, I have to deal on my own. My photography get's me through, bad day, five minutes with the macro lens in the garden during summer, can not get out too take pictures, thinking of where to go, when I can or just looking through the back catalogues and finding old gems and memories of the days I took them.

Now my blogs are the same, for sometimes, I just have to write it out, like my camera, they give me a voice.


Where I stood yesterday morning and the scene, I was shooting, the sun rose behind me, never quite got what, I was after, but for me, it really is not about that.


All these are just grab shots with my phone, the record of that morning's journey standing at the side of a road.


The sun was rising in the distance .

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Looking the other way, the moon high in the sky and the road leads out my village.


Hand held as high as I could, to see, what was over the hedge, you just never know, what hides behind at times..

Another day of a lot of wetness. I kind of had a rest day, I seem to have one, them, every weekend now, the body has to recover and so, i rest. Rain gives me the excuse, I need.

Crazy how it is July already, time really does fly, soon it will be that day again, something, that I just never ever will be able to not think about, hard all the time, but as i get older, it is getting harder.

I feel really lonely at this time. Hidden sorrow.

At some point this year, going to buy a proper printer and print my pictures to hang in my room. I have a few, that will never be online anywhere, it is a skill that fascinates me, one that takes time to get right, choosing the right paper for the picture and getting it right.
Maybe, my Christmas gift to myself.

I will be on holiday again in 6 weeks, I might have a day of before, I am going to go to Glasgow, I want to see the Banksy Exhibition, that, they have on, when Julie was alive , she would have already dragged me there, I would have put on the act of not wanting to go, but secretly I loved it. We went a lot of things, like that, started when Eve had a show of her work, now I would never has missed that anyway, but I was so proud of her and well, I did feature in one or two pictures. But we did go to see, painting, exhibitions of all sorts to be honest, Julie knew it was all an act, that I really did enjoy these days or nights, I bought a few things, I had a good eye she said. I bought something recently, it sits at my desktop. little statue, each night, I lift it, run it around in my hands, feel the contours on the metal and boy do I smile, it has meaning.


I love my dragons, This Golden Ringed Dragonfly is spectacular, I got my pictures, lying on the ground, but then, just stopped clicking, gazing at it, through the lens, losing all track of time, halcyon days.

Friday's have been my main day for taking pictures, this morning had fancied a little floral photography, but had just started looking and first thing is, not as good, as last week, when I passed, missed them by a week. just the way it goes and then the rain gods decided to join the party.

I got a few pictures, put the camera away and went the short walk into town, visit the Bakers, then went and bought a pair of shorts, I have been shrinking, bought a pair of 30" and they fit well, not bad, for someone, who was in a 44" waist at one point,

Bit like having to buy a small in a shirt as well, after buying a medium shirt, which was borderline happy with, so got it in a small.

It is all part of the new me, I guess, the biggest mistake, was getting so big in the first place, paying for it now, but at the time, did I think about it not once, big mistake, too late to learn, but my one lucky thing is, I can lose weight very easy, I know, I will lose a little bit more.

I spent the rest of the day, looking at new photography gear and over the next while bits will be added.

One other little thing, Falke socks, made in Germany, highly recommend them.


Was trying background cards out on this one, a blue sky one, does it work.


New Lupin in the garden, first flowering spike, I like it.


One of the wildflowers from this morning, plenty of raindrops on this.


Last wildflower for now, might be a type of Scabious, got that look, but it was a bright spot on such a dull morning.

I quite liked my Friday blogging last week, so tried it again this week,

I have been awake for a while, nothing unusual there, first thing, I did, was lift my writing pad and do a little writing, early morning thoughts. My writing entries are all over the place. First today, was I is always better to make someone else, that first cup of tea in the morning, than just for yourself. Followed that one, with Large Skippers, now can be said to have a little colony. Then it was about the decline of the Orchids in the same place. Can see, where I get my all over the place blogging style.

I also wrote about the 10 things, I wished I could do more, than not being able to get a hard on, probably wrote about not being able to before and for me, it is easy to talk about for it really does mean that little to me, Yes, I had a high sex drive, was always more into the foreplay and oral side of things, I am good at that, I even preferred using a toy on a woman, was something about watching how her facial expressions changed and changing what I done accordingly. Giving pleasure and satisfaction So for medical reasons, not being able to get it up, is not big deal.

Waking pain free, now that was on the list, but all the crazy things, I done, have taken it's toll, climbing a tree was, another, but I had to go back and put a line through it, I managed a large pine, where it was more, just stepping than having to use my left arm, but I managed, once at top, the view was, still as good, as I remember it lol, but then thought how bad it would be, if I had to have phoned to be rescued from a tree at my age.

Perfect vision was number one, thing missed . So for me, having a limp dick is no big deal.

Now, I have gotten to the end, forgot about what I was going to write about, scattergun,, but in this time of writing, I have done my online weekly shop, spent more money on socks, yes, I have a problem there and had a second breakfast, my tea count is now four cups for the day.

Supposed to rain a bit today and I am kind of wanting it too, get some inside things done, my mind is set for weather is nice, get outside, weather is wet work inside..

But more than anything, I miss people, 4 to be precise, 3 can never sadly be seen 1 I can always hold the dream, that one day she will say I am coming to visit.. Dreams and hope, pleasures and desires, we all have them..

Last Friday, I climbed a hill, it was mainly to test myself, you see, a year previous, I was in hospital with my Stroke, not knowing, how things will turn out, but, once I could process things, time to start fighting, my first focus was to get back home, I have my Mum to look after, she is priority one in life, she is a blog in herself.

Step two was progressing, now, that did take time and I do have things, that are never going to be back the way they were, but I never hurried,, there was no time limits, on getting back, to living life.

I could not use my heavy lenses, but got there, still not as many in focus, as i got once, I then got back to fully loaded camera bag.

I have been able to cycle apart from the 4 weeks, I had too take off, as I might be a danger, my eyes were damaged as well, but all good again, I got back to work, only done 3 days, took it easy, then when they cut us too 4 days, went back too 4, but cut the hours back.

There was down days, there was frustrating days, but it was all about taking time, till last Friday, an anniversary of sorts, I was going to climb that hill, too a place where, things I dreamed about llive,

It is steep, I use my walking poles, but one foot forward, stop too look back admire the views , have a drink and did i mention it was hot, upto 27C that day, but I got there , mother nature decides to reward me, Butterflies galore and damsel and dragonflies too, I was in the happiest of places,

Now test was not over, how was I , the day after, I was good, no more pain, than I normally have, so just to double check, I went again yesterday.

I live life, I love life, wI never quit, I learn to adapt sometimes and sometimes, well, it just takes time..

Posted on in status yesterday, I took this one, with the big camera, another island, looking like it is floating , this one is Ailsa Craig, home of the granite, they make curling stones from.

I had to post a butterfly, this Dark Green Fritillary basking in the sun, very flighty yesterday..

Images need a click on them to see them, full size.

Ps many thanks to everyone, that has been there, means a lot.

The first full week back at work was, the usual thing, playing catch up, with the nice weather we have been having my factory is very warm, when you have machines and ovens running in my main building it get close to being unworkable in at times. We had the usual coming and goings, another long term workers, finished this week, both over 15yrs and had enough, easy to understand.

Now that is out the way.. the good stuff.

I never thought, I would enjoy the sun, as much as I do now, the heat on the skin is so very nice, ok, like I have said before, we never get it as warm as most other places, but it is what you are use too at the end of the day.

Cycling home is such a joy, looking around me, as I go and seeing the changes, but you still witness, things, that have passed you by before. But mornings, are the best, then I get to see, the wildlife.
From next weekend, I really need to try an early morning jaunt, to sit and watch the day dawning, one a weekend might not kill me, Friday's are going to be, the day for the coast, I worked out, I can take the light option, with the camera stuff and cycle to the coast, just need to do it now..

I felt the cold sea water on my feet on Friday, walked the beach and sat and had my breakfast there, different but it cleanses the soul and the feeling of happiness is there.

Friday night, I got to lie in the grass and take pictures of the damsels, sometimes, I just zoom in and watch them, forgetting about the pictures, I smile all the time, wish everyone, had that thing, that makes them smile like that.

I was walking back and stopped in my tracks, 5 Swifts, just stood there, till I remembered I was in the middle of the road, I get lost in these moments, most people would not give it a second thought, but for me, it is all about spirit lifters, my music is the sounds of nature.

Today, well just see, what the day brings..


Thursday night's walk back home and the long shadows of summer.